nprfreshair
nprfreshair:

Fresh Air film critic David Edelstein reviews  Starred Up, about a teenage inmate in a maximum security adult prison:

None of the inmates in the brutal British prison drama Starred Up thinks of escape or even imminent release—it’s not that kind of prison drama. The characters will be here for a long time, and they’ve accepted the hierarchy of power among the prisoners. But the newest arrival hasn’t, yet. He’s a teenager named Eric Love—he has been “starred up,” meaning transferred to an adult prison because he’s too violent for a juvenile lock-up. Eric marks his arrival by smashing furniture in his cell and making a run at the guards, chomping down on one guy’s crotch and refusing to let go. His hair-trigger hostility to authority leaves him confused when he meets two father figures. One is an earnest group therapist named Oliver Baumer. The other is his actual father, Neville Love, a dominating inmate whom Eric barely knows. The psychodrama is so thick you can cut it with a straight razor.

nprfreshair:

Fresh Air film critic David Edelstein reviews  Starred Up, about a teenage inmate in a maximum security adult prison:

None of the inmates in the brutal British prison drama Starred Up thinks of escape or even imminent release—it’s not that kind of prison drama. The characters will be here for a long time, and they’ve accepted the hierarchy of power among the prisoners. But the newest arrival hasn’t, yet. He’s a teenager named Eric Love—he has been “starred up,” meaning transferred to an adult prison because he’s too violent for a juvenile lock-up. Eric marks his arrival by smashing furniture in his cell and making a run at the guards, chomping down on one guy’s crotch and refusing to let go. His hair-trigger hostility to authority leaves him confused when he meets two father figures. One is an earnest group therapist named Oliver Baumer. The other is his actual father, Neville Love, a dominating inmate whom Eric barely knows. The psychodrama is so thick you can cut it with a straight razor.

Looking at older photos of myself, it’s so clear just how much weight I have gained.  It’s just so strange… I was that thin because of how sad I was.  I was so depressed.  But… but now that is why I am so much bigger.   When did I start eating when depressed? SO I have to be sad AND fat.   Well fuck me…

mostlyfiction
I am thinking about every
time you have walked out
of my life without a reason,
an explanation, or even
a warning. Whether it was
because you were afraid,
or that you weren’t ready
for this, or even when you
thought you found someone
else who could keep your
attention. You were always
coming and going like you
had the right. You would just
leave like you were going
to work, or to visit your parents.
You would be gone for days,
weeks, and sometimes even
months. No text, no call,
no sign of you returning.
But you always did return,
and I was always the one
who was waiting and who
was expected to greet you
with open arms. Welcome you
as if you just returned from
a vacation. I was always
here waiting, and not once
did I ever lock the door when
you shut it behind you.
I should have locked it,
should have changed the
combination to the garage doors.
I should have kept you out
of my home as well as my heart.
Well, it’s been a couple
of months since you’ve been
gone, and this time I will not
be waiting for you. This time
I will not hold the door open
for you. This time I will make sure
that there will be no way
that you can ever get back in.
"You are no longer welcome here," - Colleen Brown (via mostlyfiction)

It’s been a long time since I have actually written a post.   I’m on Tumblr all the time, but most of the time I have very little to say.  I find myself becoming very quiet, reserved.   I don’t have much on my mind.  Or it could be that I have too much.  Either way, I find myself choosing to just stay quiet.  

Things with James are great.   I truly find myself falling more and more for him.  Of course there are things about him I would change, but then he wouldn’t be ‘him’. 

Sometimes it is more evident than others, that my past is a serious mental block for me.   I know I want something, but because of my past, I subconsciously can’t do it.  It’s stressing me out.  I feel like I am under constant pressure to ‘fix it’.

The usual stress causes are still in full swing.   Money.  Weight.

I’m the same.  Just with a wonderful man on my arm.