1. If you had to choose between vacationing in Thailand or Ireland, which one would it be?

Ireland

2. Essie or OPI?

um….

3. Who do you think should run for president in two years?

Beyonce

4. What’s the best book you’ve read so far this year?

Gone Girl

5. Truly, H&M or Forever 21?

H&M. Easy.

6. Would you rather get lunch with Gillian Flynn or J.K. Rowling?

Gillian Flynn

7. What’s your most embarrassing childhood memory?

The day I was reading in front of the class, and I read “orgasm” in stead of “organism”… so bad.

8. If you had the option of adopting a baby fox or baby koala, which one would you choose?

Baby Koala.  No contest

9. What’s your dream job?

Professional fashion photographer.

10. Who is your favorite mythological god/goddess?

Athena- I even have an owl on my shoulder

11. What would be your last meal?

Macaroni and Cheese

12. If you had to choose between using Internet Explorer forever, or permanently using an AOL e-mail address, which one would it be?

AOL E-mail address

13. If you could either be a duck or an owl, which would you be?

Owl

14. What do you love about yourself most?

My ability to sympathize with someone.

15. Cheetos Puffs, regular Cheetos, or Flaming Hot Cheetos?

Cheetos!

16. Rugrats or Doug?

Rugrats… Im not a savage...

17. Which house would you belong to in Game of Thrones? Like, very honestly.

I don’t watch that show.

18. If you got a (new) tattoo, what would it be of?

Im getting a self portrait of myself dressed like a pin-up girl tattooed on my left rip cage.  Complete with a Boston Terrier in my arms.

19. Who are your top three lady heroes?

Jennifer Aniston, my Grandmother and myself

20. If you had to be on a reality TV show, which one would you choose?

Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.

21. Who has influenced you the most?

There isnt one person.  I am lucky enough to be surrounded with so many great people.

22. What are your favorite lyrics?

"Don’t be a hard rock when you really are a gem"

23. Stretchy jeans or jeggings?

Stretchy jeans.

24. On the first day of ruling the world, what would you do?

Make coffee free

25. If you were forced to open a bakery, what would you name it?

The hot buns.

26. What’s the weirdest thing you’ve ever done on a date?

I attempted to do the worm.  Luckily he liked it. 

27. What do you hope to achieve by 50?

Marriage, Dogs, House.

28. What has been your best moment this year (so far)?

The day I found myself again.

29. Would you rather be stuck in traffic for two hours, or have Chipotle run out of guacamole?

Stuck in traffic.

30. Why are you so amazing?!

I dunno!

I have been exclusively dating this guy named James for about a month and a half now.   Hes met my family and I have met his.   We went to Boston for the weekend. 

Normally I come to my blog to express concerns, vent, something… but I don’t have anything to say.   Nothing is wrong.. Hes not mean to me.  Hes not rude or disrespectful.  He doesn’t hide me in the corner when his friends are around… as a matter of a fact, I am becoming close with his friends too. 

This just seems so abnormal to me.  There is no game, drama, hang up.   I feel valued.  I feel safe and protected.  I feel myself opening up about things that I never wanted to talk about again.  

Am I scared?  Of course.  I am vulnerable.  I am unprotected from the wall I have had up for so long.  Where there was once a block of ice, there is now a beating heart.  

This can’t be real.  I can’t be in a healthy relationship.  It’s not in the cards for me.  There HAS to be something wrong.  

Through all this blissful peace and contentment, I still feel the urge to hop on a plane.  Fly to whatever country Stuart is in and never come home.  Maybe that is whats wrong… I found my prince charming.  But its not who I want it to be.   I can’t mess this up.  My love for Stuart is strong and will never fade.   But he doesn’t love me back.  My future with him is nonexistent.  James wants me.  All of me.  All day.   I need to let Stuart go.  In a romantic sense at least.   

   I cant live in a world where Stu and I aren’t friends.

Side note- My hair is shit today